Things I Don't Get

Ah, the joys of getting older.  At (almost) 42, I am roughly at the half way point of my life.  From this vantage point I have now seen multiple generations - how they act and how they think - and even though I understand a lot of what culture brings to the table with each generation, there are still some things I don't get.  I've been chewing on this for a while and some of the things on this list you may be able to attrtibute to my age, but have fun and enjoy this mid-summer vacation rant of mine.

The Backward Baseball Cap

When I was in Little League, the hat being worn backwards was a way to unify the team around a cause like coming from behind to win a game.  We would say "Rally Cap Time!" and all turn our hats backward to spur the team on to victory.  Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't but over the years the backward ball cap has become some kind of renegade fashion statement (see Tom Brady in the pic to the right) that supposedly looks cool. 

Now the way I understand the construction of a cap, the purpose of the bill (or brim as it is sometimes referred to) is to shield the eyes from the glare of the sun or lights, thus to aid the process of "seeing."  It seems to me that wearing the cap backwards defeats the purpose of wearing the cap in the first place.  Wearing the cap backwards? I Don't get it.

Pants on the Ground (Also known as "Letting the World See Your Underwear")

Long before Larry Platt made the phrase into a song during American Idol Season 9, guys (and some girls) have gone to great lengths to insure that the world gets a great view of their underwear - usually boxers or boxer briefs and normally plaid or dark in color.  Admittedly we used to let the fringe of our boxers hang out the bottom of our gym shorts which usually led to a few extra laps, but he first time I remember seeing the pants-on-the-ground phenomena was at a youth camp in Prescott around 2003 or 2004.  Unverified rumor has it that the style became vogue from the prison culture where they supposedly issue one-size-fits-all clothing, resulting in smaller inmates having baggy pants and, thus, showing their chonies for all to see.  As the story goes, when prisoners were released they liked the look so much they kept wearing it and soon it became a cultural fashion statement, much like the aforementioned Backwards Ball Cap. 

Again I have to look at design intent.  Underwear, by definition, is to be worn "under" the outer wear, thus invisible to the eye.  When I was a kid, just the mention of underwear was funny and elicited a chuckle from my neighborhood buddies.  Who doesn't remember the playground chant "I see London, I see France, I see (name inserted) underpants."  It was humiliating then to have your underwear seen and now humiliation is lost as underwear is readily available for viewing at schools, shopping malls, and city streets.  And must I mention that a pant's waist size is measured around the actual waist and not the lower hips or thighs?  Pants on the ground?  I don't get it.

Smart Cars

Maybe this is purely a result of being an American and liking big things, but I just can't wrap my mind around the concept of driving a car that looks like a toy out of a Fisher-Price Catalog.  Actually, Smart Cars go back to the early 90's when Dailmer-Benz and the makers of the Swatch watch got their heads together to come up with a car that would blend the engineering genius of Mercedes-Benz with the funky design creativity of Swatch.  Obviously European and heavily touted by the environmental community, the Smart Car boasts fuel economy of 33/41.  I would love that gas mileage, but for someone who has 5 kids, this vehicle isn't even an option.  

When I see these things I wonder how they would ever survive a crash against, say, an American Ford 350 Pickup truck.  I couldn't find a picture of that, but when I saw this next pic, it sealed the deal for me that I would rather take my chances in a bigger car.  Smart Cars?  I don't get it.

Soccer (AKA Futbol)

Yes, I know that soccer is the world's game and I'm keenly aware of its popularity among America's youth (at least among the mom's who want a safe sport for their kids), but to me, watching a soccer game is about as exciting as watching 2 mimes play pretend chess.  Since I was in the 2nd grade I have been told of how soccer will one day take over in America as the #1 professional sport and we will finally be in step with the rest of the world.  Hear me now folks - It ain't gonna happen. 

I could devote an entire blog to this one thing but if soccer hasn't caught on in this country beyond elementary school by now, it's never going to happen.  Yes, there is a passing interest every 4 years when it's World Cup time, but once the USA is bounced out of the tournament (usually by Ghana or Usbekistan or some other country with a population the size of South Dakota), the interest is gone.  A few quick reasons why I don't get soccer:

• Scoring (or better yet, the lack thereof).  The reason the announcers go crazy - "Goaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllll"  is because it happens so rarely.  
• Extra Time.  What's up with that?  No one knows how long the extra time is, it just goes until the referee waves his hand and calls it a day.  Fans and announcers are in the dark.  
• Fouls.  Apparently in soccer a ref can call a foul on someone and not explain what the foul actually was.  Even in the NBA which is the worst officiated sport on the planet, the ref has to indicate what the foul was.  If I was playing and had a foul called on me, I would want to know what is was so I didn't repeat the offense and potentially cost my team a "Goaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllll."

Soccer (Futbol)?  I don't get it.  

I'm sure I could come up with a few more things I don't get such as Lady Gaga, Hip Hop music and Reality TV, but I guess I will save some things for another mid-summer vacation rant.  I would love your comments and maybe to hear a few things you don't get.  Thanks for reading.